Break-Up Advice I NEEDED!

 Honestly, what is worse than a break-up? Not much when you think about it. You feel awful for months without any relief. You can't even sleep it off in the beginning because all you do is have dreams about that person to wake up knowing they are not in your life anymore. I wish I was better at break-ups. I am 25 years old and I still handle them the same way I did when I was 18. WHY? Uh, well, emotions suck and apparently I have a lot of estrogen in my body still.

Anyways, here are some really awesome tips to take if you are experiencing a break-up. Some I personally took myself, and others are things I probably should have done but didn't because I am one of the most emotional people you will ever know. I also may be one of the most dramatic people too but that is for another time!!

So, my personal favorite tip for post break-up life is... cry. It's natural and the best way to let out all of those emotions. Cry wherever and whenever you want. Those feelings will bottle up if not, and then you'll end up crying at work in front of your boss. Not something entirely ideal. I may have done it but I really can't remember. My favorite crying method (how sad lol) is crying in the shower. When I was in high school I liked a boy who didn't like me back and my grandmother told me it's good to cry but crying in the shower is the most pragmatic because no one sees it, and the tears wash down the drain. I cried a lot after my last break-up. I cried in front of people. I cried in my car. I cried for my therapist, but that is grief, and it is okay! Break-ups take a toll on you and sometimes the only way to let those feelings out are by tears. So don't ever feel ashamed of that.

After my break-up I obsessed over what my ex boyfriend was doing. I couldn't grasp how one day he was telling me he would never take me for granted and loved me.. to the next day saying we are better off apart. I was hurt and just thinking in an emotional state. I wanted some sort of answer as to why this person that I thought I knew didn't love me anymore!! But... that's the ugliest truth of all. They owe you nothing. He didn't owe me a why. He didn't owe me the respect of not bashing me. He owed me nothing because I no longer had him as my boyfriend anymore. That is truthfully something I wish I knew sooner. It took me three months to learn that, and for what it's worth I have always been a very late bloomer in life. All aspects for that matter. (I literally got my first job at 22 years old..drove at 17..I really could go on for days..)

My absolute favorite thing to do after the break-up was retail therapy. I have no concept of money so this may not be the greatest advice but it may help you fill that temporary void. After everything was said and done I laid in my bed one night and had this marvelous idea.... go buy a new wardrobe! I had the most euphoric feeling knowing that I was going to replace all the cute outfits I wore while dating this person. I got new shoes, new dresses, and hell even new underwear. ALL THAT HE NEVER WILL SEE. It was just something to feel good about and i'm glad I did it. My bank account may have hated it, and the amazon guy, but hey money makes the world go around.

Which brings us to ACTUAL therapy. Personally I believe everyone should go to therapy at least once. Every single person no matter how we are raised or where we grew up can have issues. I may not have had a terrible home life, my parents didn't divorce, I was middle class, but I was still a mess. Somehow I managed to fall victim to anorexia in high school, and it still is something I deal with today. We all have our own personal demons. Life is hard. Not everyone likes therapy, but I do. Something about being able to talk to someone with an unbiased opinion for an hour just feels good. Actually the first thing I did after we broke up was sign up for a therapist. I went from talking about my ex boyfriend every session to now talking about everyday life. It is the best way to heal from whatever is hurting you at the time.

Working out is always suggested after a break-up, however I have about two friends total who workout.. So that is proof it is not for everyone. I personally like to run, but I ran before I dated my ex and I will run after him. To me it wasn't a major life changer except maybe it was a way to feel good about myself and not cry for an hour of my day. If it isn't for you maybe just pick up a new hobby or do what my best friend and I like to call "hot girl walks." Put those earphones in and start walking. Walk for five minutes or five miles. Just get out of the house and do NOT sulk.

There is no doubt about it that break-ups take an emotional toll on someone. I can truthfully say when I was going through mine I was mentally not well. I had to take a lot of time for myself to heal from things that hurt me from my ex, and even ways I hurt myself with such terrible self deprecating thoughts. The other day I was talking to a friend and she was saying how much better I am doing now four months post break-up, and I realized time is the biggest healing factor. I hate saying it because there is nothing you want more than for that initial pain to go away, but the only way it does is with time. Take the time to work on yourself. Heal for the next person who you come to with open arms. Learn from mistakes.

I know personally I learned so much from my break-ups that my next relationship will probably be my best, and I am sure it goes for my exes too. I think both wanted to be the guy for me, but unfortunately sometimes some people aren’t capable of that. WHICH IS OKAY! In the end things will work out for the better. So don’t you fret, life just has other plans for you.